Happy Martin Luther King Day!

These are some of my own dreams:

I have a dream that one day everyone will stop complaining about the food in front of them and start being grateful for every little bite they are given.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn how to balance their lives, manage their time, and not be held back from seeing family and friends just because of work.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize how ridiculous it is that we have found a way to talk to someone halfway around the world within a split-second but we still have not learned how to take the time to genuinely talk to the person right in front of us.

I have a dream that one day all strangers will be considered friends we haven’t met yet.

I have a dream that one day all schools will teach character values and not just academics.

I have a dream that one day everyone will appreciate and credit writers and that any Facebook status with song lyrics will also include the writer’s name, not just the singer’s.

I have a dream that one day more relationships will start slowly from friendship and not quickly from lust.

I have a dream that one day everyone will love the earth and have a part in environmentalism.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize that their voice counts and that if they want to change something, they must say something and do something.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn how to properly and honestly say yes, maybe, or no to an invitation; will learn not to overload a schedule; and will learn how to keep an organized agenda to remember what they said yes to.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize that kids learn by example, not by lecture.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn how to be crazy and spontaneous even without alcohol.

I have a dream that one day everyone will focus more on discussing ideas, remembering pleasant memories, and sharing raw feelings and focus less on gossip about other people, what happened on last night’s TV show, and what our newest gadgets can or can’t do.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize how fun they can make their jobs (or any task in life!) if they just add some creativity, joy, and a dash of humor.

I have a dream that one day all teenage girls will realize they can be beautiful without makeup, all teenage boys will realize they can be handsome without muscles, and the media won’t try to convince them otherwise.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn that happiness is not found in being pinballed from bars to parties or even personal development workshops to books and that the only way to clearly see what they want and to face the truth is to sit down and reflect in a state of solitude.

I have a dream that one day teachers will have a higher social standing and that the government will realize that high-quality education is the solution to just about anything and everything.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn how to be open, honest, and kind in their communication and learn how to solve conflicts maturely.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize that character, dedication, and understanding are far more important qualities in a relationship than looks, passion, and fireworks.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize that the bestseller list and Hollywood are not the only places to find great books and films.

I have a dream that one day no one will be wasteful and everyone will learn how to save food, reuse scrap paper, and donate old household items.

I have a dream that one day doctors will stop prescribing medication for everything and everyone will start seeing the value of a good, long, natural sleep.

I have a dream that one day college students will take all the courses they want to take, not just the ones that are more practical, that look better on a resume, or that their parents want them to take.

I have a dream that one day no one will care about fads, trends, and what’s supposed to be normal or popular.

I have a dream that one day everyone will believe that nudity is not always sexual.

I have a dream that one day everyone will realize that art is the most important school subject, that art unites us more than anything else can, and that creativity is the key to scientific innovation.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn to be patient, especially when driving or taking public transportation.

I have a dream that one day self-proclaimed pacifists will stop being hypocrites, stop twisting a friend’s arm when they want something back, and stop hurting other people with words.

I have a dream that one day everyone will learn to be comfortable with themselves and their own weirdness.

I have a dream that one day we will all dance together.

I have a dream that one day we will all understand that what we give is what we get.

I have a dream that one day we will all realize that our fast-paced world is a form of modern slavery and that we will all learn how to slow the hell down.

I have a dream that one day we will all realize what every dying person knows: that we don’t have much time.

I have a dream that one day we will all see how much we control our lives, our purpose, and our happiness.

I have a dream that one day we will all have more dreams, the courage to share them, and the strength to chase them.

I have a dream today and every day.

What are your own dreams?

Love Always,
Nathan

You are a part of this world, not apart from it. Everything is intimately connected. What you give is what you get.

Love Always,
Nathan

I have whispered this in streetside conversations with the homeless and I have lectured about this in workshops with Fortune 500 corporate executives. I have taught this to my middle school students and I have advised this to my elderly friends. It’s the same for everyone and if I could talk about only three things in a “Last Lecture,” this would surely be one of them.

In crafting your resolutions for the new year, just remember:

You’re allowed to dream big and you’re allowed to lie low. You’re allowed to craft an objective and goal-driven list of things to do and you’re allowed to craft a subjective and values-driven list of ways to live. And you’re allowed to wish for anything without someone else telling you that it’s not important enough, not worthy enough, or not admirable enough.

Setting a big goal to graduate with cum laude honors is no better or worse than purposely stepping back, committing to simplify, and downgrading yourself to a lower-paying job just to spend more time with loved ones and get more rest. Setting a measurable goal to run the Boston Marathon exactly 18 minutes and 45 seconds faster this year is no more or less of a resolution than vaguely saying that from now on you’ll be a more understanding and forgiving daughter, friend, and wife. And setting a goal to make $100,000 for yourself and developing the business savvy to do it is no more or less admirable than setting a goal to build a school for others and organizing a community to run it.

All your hopes and dreams are yours and yours only. They belong to your life and your life only. Don’t let anyone else tell you what you should or should not do—and certainly not what you can or can’t do.

There are no rules for resolutions other than to dig deep and live the way you’ve always imagined.

But you also need to remind yourself that as excited as you are about your resolutions, the new year will NOT bring you greater health, wealth, looks, fame, awards, titles, fun, rest, acceptance, friends, or love. That’s up to you. Stand up and roll up your sleeves because just as your hopes and dreams are yours and yours only, it’s only fair that the power to set them in motion is yours and yours only.

A fresh start is available to you any day, every day—not just at the beginning of a new year. Waking up to a new day is a far greater occasion than changing the calendar on your wall once a year.

A happier life is available to you whenever you’re ready to realize and accept your innermost desires, cast away your ugliest fears and doubts, and unlock your full and unlimited potential.

Feel empowered by this. But forgive yourself if you fail. Give yourself permission to learn. Life is beautiful in its downs too. Whether or not you can successfully cross a goal off your list, if you tried it, at least you can walk on knowing you didn’t put your life on hold.

And remember how the journey is just as important as the destination? If you’re not enjoying the steps to the goal, it’s okay to back off and give up rather than drudge on just to cross it off to say you did it. Perseverance is admirable, but in our American culture of goals, titles, and numbers on the surface, many of us push too often, enjoy too rarely. Instead of losing 10 pounds, could you win some self-love and self-acceptance? Instead of gathering the money and spending time to organize a trip to 5 countries to become more cultured, could you interact—really really interact and befriend—the waiters at your local ethnic restaurants? Remember that having a certain mindset is as much of a goal as getting to a certain measurable point. Be creative to get to the bare bones of what you want. Learning to let go, lie low, and go slow is as much of a goal as climbing high.

How many of your goals exist just to impress others? How many were made while “sleepwalking”? How many could be found on everyone else’s list of goals? How many are further steps on a path you no longer enjoy—but you are deathly afraid of hitting reset? How many goals can be abandoned and replaced with a mindset, an attitude, or a lifestyle?

How many goals are actually yours?

What small steps can you take today? What mindset or lifestyle would make you happier? What would you like to achieve this year? How would you like to live in the next 10 years? What would you like to cross off your bucket list before you’re 75? What would you like to look back on and smile about when you’re on your deathbed?

What are you waiting for?

You are given only one life.

Craft it, sculpt it, plan it.

Enjoy it, live it, love it.

You deserve it.

Happy New Year and Happy New Life.

Love Always,
Nathan